my dear Ps Daniel
Thank you for asking Chee Seng to call me. He said you wish to pay me a visit and had problems calling me. Yes, I told him I was - still am - struggling with the illness impact, on and off. I experienced periodic bouts - that's when I was down and in bed. As well as periods when I was alert and snappy. Like now, I don't feel too good.
These past 2 weeks I didn't feel well. So I took naps more often. That's why no one picked up the phone as I was - as usual - alone in the day. Ethan was overseas for his work. Last week he was in LA and San Francisco for 2 weeks, before that he was in Zurich and London. As for ADD, she usually went out in the day, either to refresh herself with some mall visits, have lunch or shop for provisions at the nearby SS supermarket. ADD and I watch TV or movies together in the evenings. When she goes to SS I would accompany her if I feel well enough. But the past 2-3 months I didn't have the energy to do that - I had to conserve my energy for visits to TTSH.
I know my illness impacts many loved ones - family, siblings and dear friends. I have had to take care of my parents when they were sick before they passed on. So I know it is tough to look after loved ones when they are sick. One to two months is probably fine. But long term care takes its toll on the care-giver as well. Thus where possible I try not to burden anyone. But to take care of myself, and always be independent whether I'm in good health or bad. I don't let illness affect my daily demeanour, emotions or habit. Hence I go to TTSH and NUH alone, brushing off any attempt by ADD to go with me * grin * . Praise God - she listened when I insisted. Only when I am warded do I (reluctantly) permit them to visit.
Why am I like that? Am I stubborn, unyielding, being difficult? Well, I believe that's the right thing to do and pleasing to the Lord. Truth is - it is also a burden for me when my brothers or friends visit me during my bad periods. That's the time when I must be in bed, my mind mulling over scripture, body resting and trying to sleep away the pain. Do you know it is so hard on me to make conversation when I am ill and throbbing in the head? Yet when my brother visits I am always happy though in pain, always welcoming though trying hard to be lucid and conversational. That's the courteous thing to do. After all it's no small effort for them to visit, and I really welcome their visits. But in all sincerity when I once told my brother I was ill and not feeling well, he burst out laughing, saying he didn't suspect I was ill when I looked so well! * hahaha * Well - praise the Lord! Do you know Dr Ivan and Dr Sam also said the same thing when they visited me at my ward bed? "You look surprisingly well and good even at this stage of your illness!"
So dear Daniel, I really really appreciate all the kindness and ministering you have had extended to me. It's probably best you contact me by email rather than by phone. I will really appreciate that. Emails are more convenient, not only for you but for me too!
Thank you,
Love always
PS: Oh, recently I asked 3-4 prayer supporters their opinion on the Lord's reaction to Lazarus' death, a prelude to sharing my nudges on God's love. My sickness has opened my mind to fresh insights and I'll share them soon after collating the group's responses. Hence this email and coming sharing will serve to keep us in touch, ok?
Thank you for asking Chee Seng to call me. He said you wish to pay me a visit and had problems calling me. Yes, I told him I was - still am - struggling with the illness impact, on and off. I experienced periodic bouts - that's when I was down and in bed. As well as periods when I was alert and snappy. Like now, I don't feel too good.
These past 2 weeks I didn't feel well. So I took naps more often. That's why no one picked up the phone as I was - as usual - alone in the day. Ethan was overseas for his work. Last week he was in LA and San Francisco for 2 weeks, before that he was in Zurich and London. As for ADD, she usually went out in the day, either to refresh herself with some mall visits, have lunch or shop for provisions at the nearby SS supermarket. ADD and I watch TV or movies together in the evenings. When she goes to SS I would accompany her if I feel well enough. But the past 2-3 months I didn't have the energy to do that - I had to conserve my energy for visits to TTSH.
I know my illness impacts many loved ones - family, siblings and dear friends. I have had to take care of my parents when they were sick before they passed on. So I know it is tough to look after loved ones when they are sick. One to two months is probably fine. But long term care takes its toll on the care-giver as well. Thus where possible I try not to burden anyone. But to take care of myself, and always be independent whether I'm in good health or bad. I don't let illness affect my daily demeanour, emotions or habit. Hence I go to TTSH and NUH alone, brushing off any attempt by ADD to go with me * grin * . Praise God - she listened when I insisted. Only when I am warded do I (reluctantly) permit them to visit.
Why am I like that? Am I stubborn, unyielding, being difficult? Well, I believe that's the right thing to do and pleasing to the Lord. Truth is - it is also a burden for me when my brothers or friends visit me during my bad periods. That's the time when I must be in bed, my mind mulling over scripture, body resting and trying to sleep away the pain. Do you know it is so hard on me to make conversation when I am ill and throbbing in the head? Yet when my brother visits I am always happy though in pain, always welcoming though trying hard to be lucid and conversational. That's the courteous thing to do. After all it's no small effort for them to visit, and I really welcome their visits. But in all sincerity when I once told my brother I was ill and not feeling well, he burst out laughing, saying he didn't suspect I was ill when I looked so well! * hahaha * Well - praise the Lord! Do you know Dr Ivan and Dr Sam also said the same thing when they visited me at my ward bed? "You look surprisingly well and good even at this stage of your illness!"
So dear Daniel, I really really appreciate all the kindness and ministering you have had extended to me. It's probably best you contact me by email rather than by phone. I will really appreciate that. Emails are more convenient, not only for you but for me too!
Thank you,
Love always
PS: Oh, recently I asked 3-4 prayer supporters their opinion on the Lord's reaction to Lazarus' death, a prelude to sharing my nudges on God's love. My sickness has opened my mind to fresh insights and I'll share them soon after collating the group's responses. Hence this email and coming sharing will serve to keep us in touch, ok?
No comments:
Post a Comment